Where Will You Be for the Transgender Day of Remembrance?

Download PDF

In the past I’ve held a quiet, personal vigil at home on November 20th for the Transgender Day of Remembrance instead of attending any of the memorial events hosted in my city & around the world. The very thought was too soul-crushing really.

When friends asked me to an event last November I couldn’t even vocalize what torment the thought of attending brought me. I felt like every name spoken could be my child, and I simply could not endure that thought. Not with others.

Ever since my father’s sudden and tragic death in 1981, I kept Loss under lock and key like a prisoner fearing it’s strength would consume me. There was a persistent, yet completely hidden darkness in me. Something I couldn’t shake after standing in the doorway watching him die. I never wanted to name it, or own it, like the various self-help books I consumed like snacks instructed me. I couldn’t possibly go near the dungeon where I held Loss in solitary confinement so why go searching for opportunities to allow it’s escape?

Only until my Reiki Master and I started to peel away the layers of understanding did I accept that these are my greatest life lessons, my biggest obstacles to growth, and I had to decide whether I would turn my back yet again or stand in the face of fear with arms wide open. I was done running, I knew it, so I let go.

I let go of the tape forever running in my head that said that everything and everyone will leave me. I let go of my father’s untimely passing. I let go of the abuse that prevented me from feeling. I let go of my programmed personal narrative telling me I could never be enough. I let go of pain, and said my goodbyes. And with all that newfound space I focused on one simple thing – love. Love for me, for you, for all of us.

Love. It’s my mantra. It’s my compass. It’s my fuel. It’s the reason I agreed to run a booth for PFLAG this year for the Transgender Day of Remembrance because I will no longer hide locked behind closed doors. I will go and celebrate every life lived. I’ll honor families and friends who supported their loved ones quest toward truth. I will be present, with my heart and arms open wide.

cross-posted from Today You Are You

Add Comment

The New York Magazine lies to parents about trans children

Jesse Singal, Senior Editor at nymag.com, has enlisted his New York...

BREAKING: due to Target’s trans policy, voyeur accessed women’s changing room?

A case of voyeurism that has gripped the media was initially reported on...

The media is lying about why NC is being sued

By Cristan Williams @cristanwilliams Almost without exception, all news stories covering...

What the US Attorney General actually said about trans people & fighting NC in court

On Monday, May 9th, the United States Attorney General, Loretta Lynch...

The Politics of Transphobia

Bathroom Bills & The Dialectic of Oppression From the KKK to...

Is Sadism Popular With TERFs? A Chat With An Ex-Gendercrit

BY Rani Baker @destroyed4com4t Let’s get this out of the way: deep...

EEOC Commissioner: “Contrary state or local laws provide no defense to an employer that violates Title VII”

Recently in BuzzFeed in the article Feds “Ready” For Transgender Discrimination...

Study: Trans kid’s gender implicit; govt report condemns conversion therapy

A recent study found that the gender identity of trans children...

In Memory of Terri Williams Moore (1941–1976)

A trans historian considers the backwards progress of the way media...

[Updated] Predatory publishers and their dupes

While it’s well and good to call out those who denigrate trans...

The NY Times goes concern trolling

On August 22, 2015 the NY Times ran an article by Richard...

So, someone called you a TERF. Now what?

There are many things possible in the universe. If you are...