No, I Still Won’t be Watching “Dancing With The Stars” (With or Without Chaz Bono)
September 5, 2011
An Intro: “Transgender” During the 1990s
September 8, 2011

We Are Not Defined By Our Genitalia

I’ve said this multiple times on this blog and will continue to say it until you peeps embed this point in your brain cells.   You need to focus on what’s between a transperson’s ears, not their legs.

I’m tired of repeating this obvious point ad nauseum, but if that’s what it takes for you recalcitrant gay and straight cis people and elements of the trans community to get it, so be it.

It’s none of your business what’s between mine or any transperson’s legs unless you wish to get intimate with us or have a long term relationship leading to permanent coupling.

Another point that needs to be stressed is that what’s between our ears and in our hearts is more important than what’s between our legs. Our genitalia shouldn’t be the major determinant defining us or the extent of a transperson’s civil and human rights coverage.

But I have to ask this question.   Do you cis people only define yourself by your genitalia?  Is your sense of manhood or womanhood defined by the genitals between your legs?

If you answered no to that question, then why do you insist on doing so to transpeople?
We are not defined by our genitalia.   We are at the point in the second decade of the 21st century of being beyond sick and tired of being sick and tired of people focusing on what’s between our legs.

How we express our gender identity to the world and whats between our ears determines who we are.

cross-posted from Transgriot

  • Excellent article.

    Its the comments that are excruciating.  The hatred, and then they go on to claim they dont hate, but they are right because they are normal.

    Excuse me, I must go vomit now. Otherwise Thank you so much Monica.

  • Gues

    As a “cisgender” I don’t define myself as something I’m not.   For me being male is no different than being race is just what I am regardless of any stereotypes or how *I*’s not something that is defined or chosen just  like sex/gender.  If I got gold teeth, did rap and only had black friends I would still be for it none of my business you are right and your doubly right if it involves relationships because when it comes to interpersonal relationships i don’t care what *you* think you are it matters what *i* think and I don’t consider a man who thinks he’s a woman a woman..i don’t care what science has done and how much they can pass for female..

  • Anonymous

    Well said.

    Though again, I’m forever baffled by this tic in your writing…

    When referring to people who are cis, you write “cis people.”

    When referring to people who are trans, you write “transpeople”

    It does seem to reinforce the notion of cis as default.

    • TransGriot

      and I’m forever baffled by why you harp on that instead of what I had to say in that post.

      • Anonymous

        Well, as I said, it seems to reinforce the notion of cis as default… also because I don’t limit correcting busted rhetoric to those who disagree with me… makes me look like and feel like a hypocrite if I only call out people who don’t agree with me ever.

    • Guest

      From Wikipedia

      The word cisgender has been used on the internet since at least 1994, when it appeared in the alt.transgendered Usenet group in a post by Dana Leland Defosse.[4]
      Defosse does not define the term and seems to assume that readers are
      already familiar with it. It may also have been independently coined a
      year later: Donna Lynn Matthews, the charter maintainer of the usenet group, attributed the word to Carl Buijs, a transsexual man from the Netherlands, claiming that Buijs coined the word in 1995.[5]
      In April 1996, Buijs said in a Usenet posting, “As for the origin, I
      just made it up. I just kept running into the problem of what to call
      non-trans people in various discussions, and one day it just hit me:
      non-trans equals cis. Therefore, cisgendered.”[6]In short “cisgender” is a made up word for normal people.

      • Anonymous

        Normal != Modal

        Just because most people are cis does not make it more or less normal.

        And yes, cis, like every other word in existence is made up… here the etymology is from trans and cis being complementary terms used in chemistry.

        Just like hetero and homo were not originally used in reference to sexuality.

        • Guest

          Sorry but it does mean normal. Transgender is not to make up a word for people who aren’t transgender is’s like no different than a schizophrenic calling non schizophrenic people a made up word ..i used to get offended by cisgender when i started researching this( thanks too The Hangover II and Chaz Bono)..having said that I realize that nothing i say will make you understand my POV just like your POV won’t change my views my main issue  with transgender is relationships..the Hangover II upset me when they essentially joked about rape..the character was drunk..(hence the title) and the person he thought was a woman was  a transgender..of course he was mortified the next day..but the blogs I read were calling the movie “transphobic” because the character didn’t want to be with a transgender..i don’t see how having a sexual preference is transphobic