Reteaching Gender and Sexuality
January 14, 2011
Ethan, Marti, Teeeg and Chloe Prince
January 17, 2011

Super Secret Lesbian Barista At Pam’s House Blend and The Trans Lunch Counter Sit-in

Kathleen, a transwoman and commenter on Pam’s House Blend (PHB), asked a very compelling question:

“It’s hard to justify pushing for national orgs to focus all their resources on marriage & no such push for basic employment rights in the same state.”

She was referencing states like Wisconsin, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Maryland, Delaware, and New York that have basic employment protections for gays and lesbians but do not protect transgender people. With that in mind, Kathleen’s questioning of a “LGBT” community puts so much effort in passing marriage equality before basic employment rights of transgender people is very valid. It is elemental if we are to believe we are one community. With that question in mind Kathleen asked a simple question of “Lurleen”:

“Can I ask if you have a professional interest in the marriage rights issue?”

For that question she was erased from Pam’s House Blend by one of the blog’s moderators, Laurel Ramseyer. Five years of posts, five years of comments, five years of trans history erased from PHB. Gone. Kathleen was quoted over at Endablog saying:

“I’ve still had not even a notice that my account was deleted or a response to my emails asking for info.”


“She wants to be out about being [Capacity ‘B’] & about being the Communications Director working mostly on marriage online but have others not be permitted to speak of this public info. While at the same time have the ability to link the two publicly for her benefit – but punish others for even questioning whether disclosure is warranted.”

Tonight on the “Rebecca Juro Show” Autumn Sandeen responded to the charges leveled against Sandeen, Ramseyer, and Spaulding: A synopsis of the interview is this: Laurel Ramseyer is-

1. Involved in legal cases and needs to keep a low profile.

If true, is being a blogger and moderator at a prominant gay blog a good idea for someone that needs to keep a low profile? Do popular anonymous bloggers ever stay anonymous? Helllllllooooo? Jessica Cutler and Richard Horton? And if she’s so anonymous, why would she post this picture ON PAM’S HOUSE BLEND!: and say this on PHB:

“professional interest? I volunteer (meaning I DO NOT get paid and NEVER HAVE) for equal rights washington…”

2. a secret agent

A secret agent that has her profile posted all over the internet?

3.  done nothing wrong, trust us.

A look at Ramseyer’s past says we should do otherwise. From Tom Lang over at KnowThyNeighbor:

“This has become a bit of a personal issue for KnowThyNeighbor as if it is true, and there is no reason to doubt the facts, that Laurel Ramseyer works for Equal Rights Washington then she was indeed acting as a sockpuppet for Josh Friedes at Equal Rights Washington during the Referendum 71 battle which could have redacted by people’s amendment the Expanded Domestic Partnership Rights of WA for same gender (and opposite gender couples). I remember Josh Friedes during that fight calling me to tell me that KnowThyNeighbor via our affiliate must not post names of the signers of the anti-gay Referendum 71, that “Lurleen” is working on a piece that would criticize our strategy and he asked me in such a way whether I ‘knew who Lurleen was?’ like she was some sort of force to be reckoned with. All the while “Lurleen” was Laurel Ramseyer part of Josh’s minions and is now ERW’s Communications Direction possibly acting in a consultant capacity.”

and in the comments section said:

“When Lurleen was crazed against KnowThyNeighbor in 2009/10 I contacted Pam Spaulding on her email. Lurleen, not Pam emailed me back immediately telling me that all the Blenders see emails to Pam and how dare I take this up with Pam. Pam Spaulding NEVER emailed me back on any of this and there were multiple emails to her. When I brought this duel personality bit up with The owner of BluMassGroup in MA and told him what was going on, he told me the emails are “off the record” and yet he denied knowing anything. When I told him I wanted to be on the record, he told me if that is indeed my choice he would be forced to go to the parties involved ie Lurleen/Laurel and I assume Pam. What you are exposing here, I believe is alpha netroots and how it tries to control the strategy, the online presence and altering the history of our movement.”

Kathleen’s question SHOULD be asked. It NEEDS to be asked.

4. We’re not affiliated with GayINC because we’re not getting paid.

I would ask Autumn this question: If you’re not a mouthpiece for gayINC, are you a member of InsidersOUT? InsidersOUT is a group formed by Mike Rogers and co-modderated by Pam Spaulding. They define themselves as:

”a mix of leaders in the national LGBT movement including senior staff members of state wide and national LGBT organizations, well known community bloggers, journalists, political folks, and others engaged in building alliances in and with the LGBT community”.

If this isn’t GayINC, I’m not sure what is. And payment isn’t always done with a cash payment. As Katinra Rose said:

“I believe George Washington put forth a magnanimous image in having served as general without a salary – but his expenses, which he did require compensation for, rivaled that of royalty.”

and Kathleen pinpoints even more:

While it is not alleged she is being paid by EQWA – others (Autumn – all the guest posters brought in) – disclose their leadership roles in orgs – compensated or not. I don’t believe Autumn is paid for being on the GetEqual Board. But – not being paid by EQWA – isn’t the superset of all places one could receive compensation from.

Sandeen’s underlying suggestion seems to be that you must be paid to be a mouthpiece for GayINC. You don’t need to be paid to be guilty of Uncle Tom Syndrome. Access is payment. Promotion is payment. Looking the other way while other members of your community are silenced on your co-moderated blog is payment. I’m not going to let this injustice go. I’m going to keep blogging about this until:

  1. Both Kathleen and Katrina Rose’s accounts are restored at PHB.
  2. Pam Spaulding issues an apology to both these women and to the community at large for engaging in this sockpuppetry and silencing of trans voices.
  3. Laurel Ramseyer is removed as a moderator at PHB.

Voices shouldn’t be silenced because they ask inconvenient questions.  Kathleen’s most recent comment over at Bilerico frames it perfectly:

“Bil, while not going into the issues on many other sites it’s important to note that Lurleen was not outed on Pam’s. Her real name was never mentioned there at all. She was asked to disclose – but not named.”


“I would suggest the issue of the firestorm regarding Autumn’s articles have received more than a fair share already. The other is approaching that as well. But all of these issues take place within a larger political context. And the banning of someone questioning working exclusively on marriage when others don’t have rights in that geographic area and the distraction of those people who are left out from those rights interfering with those efforts is a higher level part of that context. Dana Beyer approaches this in her article on wither ENDA in the Metro Weekly : ‘The Silent ”T” Leaders need to overcome their fears and represent everyone in the LGBT community’ Though I think she misses where the ability to foster change in the next year or two resides. The push for marriage alone in Delaware stifles the push to include trans people in the existing LGB nondiscrimination bill or pass a local one in say Wilmington, the push to only work on marriage in New Hampshire stifles the push to include trans people in the existing LGB ondiscrimination bill or pass a local one in say Portsmouth as examples. Not doing these things now not only stands in the way of righting a wrongful exclusion from legal equality, it sets the stage for the next exclusion on a larger scale. When some will say in the future about ENDA – ‘people didn’t do enough education’, ‘This doesn’t exist in my district’, ‘if you can’t pass this in X, how can it pass nationwide.’ This isn’t a new tune, it’s not even a new dance. And while sockpuppets may not be involved, their organizational equivalents are alive and well.

Marti Abernathey
Marti Abernathey

Marti Abernathey is the founder of the Transadvocate and the previous managing editor.

Abernathey has worn many different hats, including that of podcaster, activist, and radiologic technologist.

She’s been a part of various internet radio ventures such as TSR Live!, The T-Party, and The Radical Trannies, TransFM, and Sodium Pentathol Sunday.

As an advocate she’s previously been involved with the Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance, Rock Indiana Campaign for Equality, and the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition. She’s taken vital roles as a grass roots community organizer in The Indianapolis Tax Day Protest (2003), The Indy Pride HRC Protest (2004), Transgender Day of Remembrance (2004), Indiana’s Witch Hunt (2005), and the Rally At The Statehouse (the largest ever GLBT protest in Indiana – 3/2005).

In 2008 she was a delegate from Indiana to the Democratic National Convention and a member of Barack Obama’s LGBT Steering and Policy Committee.

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  • Leigh Anne

    Oh, come on. Gay INC is not an organization, it’s an agglomeration of people with similar views and similar agendas. Not getting paid for expressing your opinion does not place you outside Gay INC. Challenging the party line does.

    It’s nice — for them — that some people do get paid for working on the securing the right to marry someone of the same sex, and it is in the mainstream of the gay and lesbian political agenda. But unless they’re uppity and also criticize other aspects of the mainstream agenda, they’re part of Gay INC.

    Tag. They’re IT.

  • Ethan

    as the people from PHB keep pointing out, no one on PHB get’s paid for what they do, therefore they are not gay inc.. I think that is correct and considering what they do for gay inc., it just makes them the chumps of gay inc..

  • Kathleen

    Both Kathleen and Katrina Rose’s accounts are restored at PHB.

    I’ve turned down to offer to open a new account at Pam’s. Absent some acknowledgment of wrongful moderation it wouldn’t be meaningful to return under the condition of always wondering when you’ll say something someone dislikes and wondering if that might effect your own speech. In either case – my account can’t be restored – all the information was permanently deleted by Lurleen. Kat’s could be.

    Running out the door.

    • Anonymous

      Kathleen, but they could restore every bit of it. Database backups hold all that information. It might be difficult to do, but you were wronged and they need to do it.

    • Kat

      “Both Kathleen and Katrina Rose’s accounts are restored at PHB.”

      These are link’s to the KatRose page at PHB.

      Judge for yourselves if it looks as though I’ve been restored.

      • Kat

        And, to add to those:

        • Kat

          Miraculously, a few hours after I posted the above links and screengrab, my PHB account was reactivated.

  • Jsb7

    Whenever someone starts using the term “Gay Inc” you can bet their arguments are lame and unfounded. PHB isn’t a democracy. It’s not even an LGBT organization. It’s more like a magazine owned by one person who can put whatever she likes (or not) into it. If you don’t like it, start your own instead of sowing hate against established groups.

    • PHB is a website run by someone who claims to be a poor black married lesbian woman struggling in homophobic North Carolina when the fact is she is comoderator of a listserv whose members include high profile activists, Major and mega donors, philathrapists, Executive Directors of pro-equality organizations, and Pro-equality politicians and their chiefs of staff. Not only that she was one of the 24 people who went on that infamous secret trip to Fort Worth/Dallas where she helped create The Dallas Principles, a set of bylaws by the way which she has violated several times over.

      You name one ordinary person with that kind of access.

    • Anonymous

      When someone uses a name for the basis of whether or not an argument is valid, their argument is bound to be lame and without much logic.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think I ever stated #phb is a democracy, but it is a public forum/blog/space. People have the the right to held them accountable.

    • Anonymous

      So I’m sowing hate because I’m exposing the truth? #notarationalargument

    • Kat

      “Whenever someone starts using the term ‘Gay Inc’….”

      You mean, like PHB does?

      – on how Gay, Inc. handled – and mishandled DADT repeal efforts ( )

      – Gay Inc.’s ‘low hanging fruit’ that hasn’t been picked ( )

  • Tom Lang

    Has anyone noticed the lack of coverage of this at other Mainstream LGBT Blogs. Reason is that they are indeed “L G B ” blogs. The longer Pam Spaulding sits and refuses to make a statement on this, the further the nail gets hammered into the coffin. That what we all believe to be the truth, that trans people’s rights are back burner, is indeed accurate.

    • With all due respect, this controversy isn’t limited to trans people’s rights. Rumor has it that people who belong on the L, G, and B teams have also had their voices silent there too or they’ve been warned not to discuss this, or they’ll face consequences; although, it would appear that trans people who’ve contributed to that website outnumber LGB’s, based on those will to speak to this matter thru Twitter, Facebook, and their own blogs.

    • Anonymous

      Because they would probably be chided on the IO list. It’s all about access, baby!