i’ve blogged about trans termonology here and here, and i believe i’ve finally found a definition for “trans” that works for me. you can find it on the blog no designation on their definition page. it reads:

Transgender or Trans – Traditionally defined as a person who doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, I prefer to shift the focus away from assigned gender and define transgender as a person who’s gender is not universally considered valid. That means that someone, somewhere, will tell a transperson that they are not the gender they say they are. (ex: a transman is someone who identifies as a man and that there would be someone out there who would tell him that he isn’t a man)

this not only rings true for me with regard to my understanding of myself, but also with my experience as someone who is universally considered as a transsexual. since even the definition of the term “gender” is often shrouded in haze, i much prefer to define trans outside the context of gender, but not only because gender is a term whose definition is in flux.

if one looks at the traditional definitions of gender identity, it’s always in the context of how one views themselves in the context of an internal awareness of being a man or woman (or male or female). i’ve never had any such awareness. i wouldn’t know what an internal awareness of being a man or a woman is. and the fact that these traditional definitions often interchange “male or female” with “man or woman”, or “masculine or feminine”, as if these terms are interchangable. from my perspective, these terms mean very different things, and depending on which terms are used, the definition changes drastically.

on the other hand, i have personally experienced having my gender erased and invalidated, and i’ve personally experienced observing *all* trans people’s genders erased and invalidated, on many occasions. so this definition works very well for me.

on the flip side, many people who would be considered men and women based on their “identity”, that is, how they see themselves, their biology, that is, how they would fit into a classification based on whether they produce eggs or sperm, and their social standing, would also fit under this definition, while they would not consider themselves trans. .

and this is yet one of the many problems when we humans try to clearly delineate socially constructed classes of people within the infinite diversity of life.

in the king james version of the bible, genesis, book 1, verse 27, it states:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

male and female created he them, in his image. so i take that to mean that god created *both* male and female in his image. both male and female are images of god. and because this was written 5000 years ago, before jesus christ walked the earth, before christian church leaders appropriated the holy jewish 5 books of moses, i imagine that those early jewish rabbis were not as worldly as some would have us believe. and that’s because “male and female” were and are not the only options.

we are all created in his image, every last one of us. remember that when you speak out against my existance. when you speak out against my validity. when you speak out against my sanity. when you speak out against my “lifestyle”. when you judge me. when you speak out against my rights, as a human being, and one who was created in the image of your god.

st. john’s of baltimore city, a reconciling united methodist congregation, is dealing with that very issue.

A woman who has served as minister at St. John’s United Methodist Church in Baltimore for five years has been re-appointed to the position – as a man, according to church officials.
[snip]
The move was not without challenge. Some ministers asked for a “ruling of law,” a move which automatically takes the issue to the church organization’s highest court, the Judicial Council, which will be meeting next in October.
[snip]
The church … has no explicit policy regarding sexual identity changes or sex change operations, officials said. Gordon/Phoenix’ congregation is among those that support what the members call the “reconciling” movement within the church, and campaigns to reject the church’s traditional biblical teachings on marriage and sexual ethics.
[snip]
Mark Tooley, director of the UM Action, a part of the Institution on Religion and Democracy, said gender, however, isn’t a choice but a reality. “The church’s calling is to facilitate healing, not echo the secular culture’s mantras about ‘diversity,’” he said.

gender is a reality? so in scotland, where men wear skirts, is “reality” on vacation? i guess we can’t be troubled about “diversity” and all those silly “mantras” echoing in secular culture.

apparently, “healing” involves beating conformity into the hearts and minds of humanity, whether or not said conformity aligns with god’s image. apparently, some people know the mind of god so well, they judge how others can live their lives, right down to their own self knowledge. apparently, they know not only god’s mind, but the minds of every other human being.

perhaps some people need a reality check.

via the view from (ab)normal heights

i’ve come across several references online that have confirmed that bitch’s performance has been cancelled at the boston dyke march. apparently, this was initiated by some trans activists who did not approve of a musical artist who also performs at the michigan womyn’s music festival.

so, do we also stop buying indigo girls cd’s because they record on the sony music label, whose management engages in offensive and highly questionable behavior?

apparently, lgbt artists are also being silenced in the world of movies, as the gendicator was cancelled from showing at the san francisco lgbt film festival.

i am going on record here and now in saying that this type of silencing and censureship must stop. if we are to survive as human beings, we must allow everyone their voice.

i own and enjoy several indigo girls cd’s. i own and enjoy a bitch cd. and frankly, if gendercator comes to phoenix, i will buy a ticket and see it. or if it becomes available on itunes, i will buy it, download it, and watch it. then, and only then, will i offer an opinion about it.

and speaking on opinions, there are some comments on heart’s post like:

transsexuals seem to be focused on cultural gender roles and “feeling” like a woman…

which i totally disagree with, and i believe also perpetuate stereotypes about trans people. no kiuku, i am not focused on cultural gender roles, and i don’t “feel” like a woman. unless of course, you’d like to describe exactly what a woman feels like, and i’d be able to tell you whether or not i feel like one.

for the time being, i’m content in saying i feel only like me, because that’s the only experience i’ve had, and therefore, the only experience i’m qualified to speak to. and for the record, i feel like a trans person.

so while the commenters on that thread are complaining about silencing, please, stop silencing me and mine, and perhaps we’ll be able to work together in building a community dedicated to our survival. you know, if a man decides to rape me, he’s not going to initiate a chromosome test to make sure i was born a woman. he’s just going to rape me, same as you. just like my employer will impose that glass ceiling, without same chromosome test. just like people will dismiss my opinions, without said test.

i may be trans, but i move through the world as a woman, just like you. like it or not, we are in this together, even if i set off some people’s manometers. the people i encounter in the world, see and treat me as a woman, just like you.

i read with interest sabrina star’s post entitled variations in the experience of ‘having gender’ which reviews some of her experiences in attempting to describe trans issues with her radical feminist friends.

she writes:

When i tried to explain to my friend that i experience my transsexuality as persisting in spite of rather than because of cultural gender enforcement, this confused her. But i think i understand this, now, too.

See, for a long time it has deeply puzzled me to hear it said that transsexuality is an enforcement of the gender binary. From my perspective it is has been very clearly a total transgression. At no point did anyone ever say to me, “Well, if that’s the way you really feel about it, then why don’t you just switch to the other side? Just as long as you’re not… you know… androgynous.” Generally instead what i hear is that people suggest i should be some kind of “unconventional male.” I actually even tried that.

i can see how some feminists perceive some trans people as enforcing the gender binary. a man, who expresses his gender in traditional manly ways, starts expressing his gender in traditional womanly ways, by wearing womens clothes, hairstyles, jewelry, and so on, and interacts with other people in traditionally womenly ways, by changing the words he might use in conversation (like using “tummy” instead of “stomach” or “belly”, and asking questions instead of making statements), and employing other gendered behaviors.

now if all trans people did this, then i’d agree that trans people do enforce the gender binary. in that line of reasoning, trans people would be exchanging one set of gendered behaviors for another.

but that has not been my experience with all trans people. quite the contrary, in fact. many trans people i know were never traditional men, and they are not now traditional women. they lived outside the traditional behaviors of men before transition, and now live outside traditional behaviors of women. and not without a lot of grief from the other members of society, i might add, both before and after.

and some, like myself, go as far as to reject any kind of gendered self-identification. granted, i legally changed my sex to female because that’s how people see me (that’s right, i do not set off people’s “manometers” when they see or interact with me), and i have to make a living to pay my bills. something that requires my legal documents to align with the perception that people have of me.

funny thing is, i don’t wear dresses, heels, makeup, or nail polish, and while i have long hair, i had long hair before transition too. with apologies to my rad fem friends, it’s not my fault that people see me as a woman. that’s been a problem since childhood for me (only back then, they saw me as a girl), and at some point in my 20′s, realizing that i had to get a job, i began to change my appearance according to traditional male stereotypes. i grew a beard, i cut my hair short, i took up more space, and i started to talk using traditional male phrases. “i gotta take a piss”, instead of “i gotta pee” goes a long way in our society in being accepted as a man. those aren’t my rules, but one needs to avoid getting the crap beat out of them on a regular basis, should one want to attain some level in their quality of life.

i became increasing more conflicted as i increasing tried to act more manly to fit in. so at some point, i just stopped.

i grew my hair back, i shaved off my beard, i stopped talking funny, and i started shopping in the section of the clothing departments that offered clothes that actually fit my body, and had styles i liked.

and in order to function in our society, i transitioned. as i said, i need to hold down a job because i have bills to pay.

and while i see myself as very much androgynous, in both the context of my appearance and behavior, society sees me as very much feminine. except when i fix up my husband’s truck, or the house, or use power tools, or drool over motorcycles, or visit the shooting range. then, i’m seen as some kind of radical feminist. yeah, ironic, i know. but a few friends at work often send me links to feminist articles because they think i’m all about breaking down stereotypical female behavior and appearances.

when in fact, i’m just being me.

i have no gender identity. i don’t care if my appearance or behavior fits into traditional male or female stereotypes. and i don’t “feel” like a woman or a man. i followed the medically prescribed transition path because it allowed me to be who i am, and still make a living while enabling me to function in our society.

and to that, i plead guilty.