on a trans message board i frequent, the question was posted “Why is gender dysphoria painful?” there was the usual talk, and i posted this as a response:

the whole “girl mode” and “boy mode” thing, the “feeling like myself” thing – these phrases never worked for me. in 1984, the concept of newspeak is explored, and to me, that’s one of the difficulties in talking about the trans experience. there are no words to express the feelings and experiences involved in living as a trans person. with newspeak, the government crafted the language so that only politically correct thoughts could be expressed. and to me, that’s what using english is like to describe being trans.

i’d go as far as to say that the very question “Why is gender dysphoria painful?” results as part of the limited vocabulary in english. because there’s no language, the thoughts in and around the trans experience are very difficult, or even impossible to verbalize. i think most every trans person would agree that gender dysphoria *is* painful. why it’s painful is obvious to the trans person. it’s about authenticity. it’s about moving through the world as a fully actualized human being. the “why” is not much more than mental masturbation, because it’s something that’s felt down to the fiber of ones bones and soul. it’s like asking why a headache is painful. because it hurts – it’s that simple and obvious.