in his column, savage love, dan savage receives a question about trans relationships, or a lack there of, and posts a wonderful response. excerpts are as follows:
question:
Where can a straight guy find a transsexual woman who is NOT a hooker and just wants to be friends (with benefits)?…
answer:
…It’s nice that you’re willing to be friends with the transsexual you’re fucking, LTL—that puts you above most straight-identified men who are into trans women. But most trans women, hookers or not, want more than that. They want love, companionship, intimacy, and a commitment—you know, all that shit non-trans women want. Be open to an actual relationship, LTL, and you’ll have an easier time finding a non-pro who’s open to you.
Savage is one of the great ones and pretty freaking hot to boot. His take is straight (no pun intended) on and if I could add a couple of things, it might help if the guy asking the question didn’t sign his question Lonely Tranny Lover. Yeah, that’s what I liked to be called, a tranny.
Okay, I’m going to use a bit of colorful language to try and make this next point…
We all know that there are a ton of straight identified guys who love them some pre-op transsexuals, there is just way too much trans porn out there for there not to be. They think because we (us pre-ops) have tits it doesn’t make them gay. Whatever, I could really care less as I think of myself as a woman not a guy but lets not kid anyone, what guys like this want is the dick.
They just don’t want to be seen with you out in public. And that my friend is a deal breaker. If they want to fuck me or have me fuck them, it comes with certain conditions and that is a committed relationship. Not that anyone wants to do it with me but my point still stands.
This all being said, there are a lot of great guys out there who don’t really give a shit about what someones past is and just love you for you. I think that’s what most of us are looking for and it’s obviously what you and our mutual friend in Spokane have found. Props to them for loving someone because they are just a great person to love. It’s what we all want, not the Lonely Tranny Chaser.
Comment by Kelly — June 2, 2010 @ 5:35 pm
yeah, he is hot, isn’t he
and yes, i’ve been blessed with a wonderful man, who loves me for me. i’ve met a few other men in my travels, who are also very nice men. they are out there. but it’s like the saying goes – you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.
Comment by nexy — June 5, 2010 @ 8:56 am
I’m surprised at what he said here, frankly. He tends to be horrible at all the other trans things I’ve read he’s posted. Like this one.
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/03/23/transgendered-washington-state-attorney-general-rob-mckenna-betrays-his-community
Comment by A.W. — June 18, 2010 @ 9:45 am
there’s as much transphobia within the lgbt community as without. compared to many gay men, i think dan is better than most in this area. that’s not to say that everyone could stand improvement.
Comment by nexy — June 19, 2010 @ 9:38 am