no doubt you’ve come across this “news“, about a 16 year old german pop singer who has had gender reassignment surgery, commonly known as a “sex change” in our vernacular.
i have a few problems, as you’ve probably surmised by now. not only with the headlines that are being perpetrated by the media, and the underlying assumptions behind them, but by how the term “transsexual” is used against us, transsexuals.
apparently, the media has unilaterally changed the meaning of the term “transsexual” to a person who has undergone surgery and hormone treatments in order to acquire the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. so here’s a news flash to y’all who haven’t had surgery – you’re not a transsexual. and to those who have, you are transsexual. hooray.
little did i realize that before i had surgery, i really wasn’t transsexual, despite all the medical treatment and diagnoses to the contrary. i shudder to think of all the stigma and torment i could have avoided, had i been aware of this newly developed definition.
the above linked post has more gems of insight. jennifer lance, the illustrious author of the piece, states:
I am not sure how I feel about this news. On one hand, I want to respect Kim and her decision. I am an open-minded person, at least I like to think I am. On the other hand, 16-years-old is awful young to be making life changing decisions. I can’t even remember what I wanted at 16, other than to drive a car and hang out with my friends while listening to music. I am not for elective, cosmetic surgery, but some may argue this is not cosmetic for Kim. I believe we should accept our natural bodies.
i suppose jennifer would prefer that the world use her experience as the model of experience with which all other experiences should be compared. after all, if she “can’t even remember what [she] wanted at 16″, then all us bat shit trannys certainly can’t know. oh, i’m sorry, i guess we really weren’t trannys back then. maybe wannabe transsexuals. or worse, shemales.
and regarding our “natural bodies”, jennifer goes on to say:
One thing I do know, I can’t help but feel like I should move to Germany. My son is considered “uninsurable” because he has a congenital heart defect, and our government offers no support because we are not a low income family, yet Germany pays for a teenager’s sex change! I wish Kim and her family well, and I try to have compassion for her gender issues.
um, jennifer, i’m very sorry to hear that your son has a congenital heart defect, but “i believe we should accept our natural bodies.”
yeah, sounds pretty stupid when it’s put that way, doesn’t it.
but hey, if a government pays for something as petty as a teenager’s sex change, then surely they should pay for a “real” disorder like a congenital heart defect. and yeah, thanks for your “compassion” for my “gender issues”!
I was not asking the world to use my experience, but I shared it to show how I could not possibly understand the complexities of the case. I do not condemn the German government for paying for this surgery, quite the opposite. I wish our government was more supportive of people’s health. I am not accusing anyone of being “wannabe transsexuals. or worse, shemales.” I don’t even know what this means. I was trying to give some insight into how I feel about the issue, trying not to judge, trying to accept. I am not your enemy.
Comment by Jennifer — February 5, 2009 @ 8:25 pm
surely you can understand how i could interpret your comment about your experience when you were 16 as dismissive of my experience at 16 of knowing exactly how i saw myself, and how i needed to live my life. just because you were confused or immature at 16, doesn’t mean that i was, or that kim is. and surely, you could see that stating ” yet Germany pays for a teenager’s sex change!”, complete with exclamation point, is dismissive of “sex changes”. and surely, you can understand that your son at 16, knows that he would like for his congenital heart defect to be repaired.
in simple terms, you at 16, in perfect health, as a young, white, normative female, had only music and driving cars as your biggest concern. people like your son, and people like kim and myself, experience much larger issues than cars and music. we may not be mature in every area, but those aspects that impact our lives, or quality of life, can certainly be quite clear at a young age.
i understand you may not feel you are being judgmental, but i think if you re-read your comments with a more objective or empathetic eye, you may see my point of view. if you can’t possibly understand the complexity of this case, i would respectfully request you defer to those of us who do understand.
regarding my other comments about shemales and wannabes, those were directed to the media in general, and not at you specifically. i apologize if i positioned those comments in a way that directed my frustration at you.
Comment by nexy — February 5, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
I appreciate your point of view, and I said I was trying to not be judgmental, not declaring that I was being 100% successful. I am glad we can have this conversation, and I can’t possibly understand who you were at 16, just as you can’t judge who I was at 16 from a sentence. 16 wasn’t easy for me either, but in different ways than for you. I had intended by sharing my honest thoughts, that other people would examine their own thoughts on the subject openly and honestly.
It is only though sharing our thoughts and feelings can we bridge the gap and learn from and about one another to promote tolerance. I also apologize if my post offended you. That was not my intention.
Comment by Jennifer — February 5, 2009 @ 10:06 pm
Not sure I agree with your accusation that the media has unilaterally labeled “only” post-operative people as transsexuals. I’m sure you can recall many bits of news over the years about prominent transfolk who were called transsexuals even though they were pre-op or status unknown. However, it surely can be argued that the media will not call you transsexual if you are pre-transition – that is, if you haven’t done anything other than declare your status. If you haven’t grown or cut your hair, started hormones, or started dressing in your target gender, you’ll have a hard time getting anyone, least of all the media, to call you trans-anything.
Comment by Michelle — February 9, 2009 @ 4:17 pm
good point. perhaps i should have said that the media has recently updated their definition.
Comment by nexy — February 9, 2009 @ 5:32 pm
Half the time, it could very well be a social choice of lifestyle rather than a sexual one. This fact makes SRS unnecessary.
I know someone from way back who dabbled as an inadvertent and unaware government-social sponsored/interred experiment-inmate, 2 decades later he/she was glad nothing irreversible was chosen, saying something like ‘SRS is shortsighted when INBETWEEN is the most intriguing way to live.’
Hope Kim won’t regret her choice, it’s no longer reversible until 1-2 decades later when growing organs is common.
Desire to SRS is a mental block or self challenging attitude one gets into, or is dared into by others. If you are looking for the right kind of male mind to match your feminine one, then seek open minded bull dyke lesbians. The equipment is not the most critical thing, though presentation is important, but more important is the mind and the mental blocks towards others who you’d like to be ‘loved’ by and the reasons for that.
Inbetween is so much naughtier depending on the setting and society, and remember, males seek females at the end of it all as either sex toys or mothers, so keep your options as open as possible, for companionship is not a matter of sex alone, it is a matter of personality and goals in life.
http://shemalecygnus.tripod.com/
Comment by T-Advice — February 8, 2011 @ 4:06 pm
hi t-advice. your comment was caught by my spam filter, but i approved it. not because i agree with your perspective, but in fact, disagree.
this comment: “If you are looking for the right kind of male mind to match your feminine one, then seek open minded bull dyke lesbians.” – you know, people are attracted to different types. however i don’t know that i’d suggest that a bull dyke lesbian necessarily has a “male” mind, not would i suggest that all trans women have “feminine” minds. i suppose it depends on how you define those terms.
additionally, this statement: “males seek females at the end of it all as either sex toys or mothers, so keep your options as open as possible, for companionship is not a matter of sex alone, it is a matter of personality and goals in life” is just outright wrong, and even offensive. my husband, a male, doesn’t see me as a sex toy or his mother, and we have a wonderful relationship, and share companionship, and have done so for the past 6 years. with no end in sight. sweeping generalizations suck, and are often wrong.
Comment by nexy — March 6, 2011 @ 8:55 am
As someone who forged a drivers license to receive medical treatment that couldn’t be given to a 17 year old child, I think it is indeed the most appropriate choice for certain individuals. I will be 50 and December and if anything, wish I had started earlier. If you are willing to give up your family, friends, job and life as you know it then you really don’t have a choice. I believe that transitioning as young as possible is a great measure of the success someone will have later. I think the people who are commenting negative are simply jealous. Let someone live their life, it doesn’t impact you.
Comment by Jennifer from SI — March 31, 2012 @ 11:44 am