i came across this article that covers a relationship between a trans woman and her female partner, in the context of national coming out day. it wasn’t the article itself that caught my eye, but rather the first three comments.
Posted by stevevs on October 12, 2007 at 10:06 a.m.
So did that one person go from being a guy to a lesbian woman?Posted by olokun on October 12, 2007 at 10:52 a.m.
That’s what it sounds like, stevevs. I wonder how frequent that is. I also wonder how often the violence against “trans women” my [sic] straight men was precipitated by pre-op trans women secuding [sic] straight men then popping a surprise on them. I don’t condone violence, but that seems like serious provocation to me.Posted by JustSayin on October 12, 2007 at 11:36 a.m.
“She described feeling “ripped apart” while still a biological male. “I had a desire for women, but I couldn’t really express it, and I didn’t know why.”"So you have yourself surgically mutilated so you can become a lesbian? No ‘hate’ coming from me here, just absolute amazement.
olokun - there is no provocation worth violence - ya just gotta walk away.
this covers several issues - loaded language with “surgically mutilated”; “provocation” in being unfortunate enough to being attractive to some male, and failing to engage in the “big reveal” of ones medical history before he takes off your clothes, causing “popping a surprise”; among others.
i wonder about the reverse. imagine a scenario in which i am “provoked” to violence toward a man who failed to “reveal” he’d been “surgically mutilated” by circumcision, thereby “popping a surprise” on me. perhaps we ought to require everyone to carry “disclaimers”, clearly outlining any “mutilations” or other medical or social conditions, with a place for signatures by the “disclaimee”.
or, if one is offended by anyone or any body part that doesn’t exactly fit into ones idea of what a man or a woman is, you know, just ask, before you get into bed.
That old saw. The double bind–if you come out (in any fashion), then you get all the negative reactions of homo/trans phobes. And if you don’t, you’re a horrible deceiver.
It’s bollocks anyway. Have you read Julia Serano on how the “trans panic” defense in the Gwen Arujo case was complete shite?
Comment by queen emily — October 13, 2007 @ 11:33 am
i haven’t seen the julia serano piece. perhaps i missed it, is it on her site? by the way, i got her book a month or so ago - great read! i’ve been meaning to give it a second read as there’s so much to absorb.
funny thing about that old saw. it just keeps on cutting…
Comment by nexy — October 13, 2007 @ 11:45 am
It’s in her book, don’t know if it’s on her site.
Comment by queen emily — October 13, 2007 @ 12:41 pm
as i said, i need to read the book again
Comment by nexy — October 14, 2007 @ 1:25 am
Good point and counter example.
Comment by Elaine Vigneault — October 14, 2007 @ 4:55 pm
I’m reading Julia’s book as well after you recommended it. It’s very compelling stuff, and has given me a lot to think about, especially concerning feminists (I’m only about a third through it so far).
Comment by Michelle — October 15, 2007 @ 8:52 am
hello
I’m 25 days post-op (mtf) and am glad that there are people like you around to answer these posters because, right now, I just cannot be bothered with them. They seem interested only in commenting on something they clearly know nothing about. It’s the blind hatred that bothers me. Do they *seriously* think “people-like-me” would voluntarily “choose” to suffer this condition?
So, SRS is the admission fee for membership of the lesbian club?- is that really what they’re saying? *shakes head in amazement*
“Surgically mutilated”? Ha! Hahahaha! And undoubtedly they’re perfect physical specimens of manhood and virility… Makes me wonder why, then, they seem to feel so threatened.
Comment by Helen — October 15, 2007 @ 11:56 am
I REALLY understand that this isn’t a viable or proper solution to probably even most of the trans population, but for me, I present myself the way I feel like at the time, and I can only say one thing to anybody that would think to be provoked to violence, and that’s “Bring it!”
Comment by EmilyGrae — October 16, 2007 @ 1:42 am
So you have yourself surgically mutilated so you can become a lesbian? No ‘hate’ coming from me here, just absolute amazement.
no hate? no judgement? yeah, right.
seriously folks? they’re just body parts. get over it, or get out.
Comment by ken — October 16, 2007 @ 9:28 pm
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