“She…”
August 20th, 2007 by Autumn SandeenI went and visited Mom for a few days last week.
It’s strange. I’d always granted “special dispensation” to my own Mom, knowing she loved me, but might not ever get used to calling me “Autumn,” or that she’d probably never refer to me by female pronouns.
Yet, for the first time in the four plus years since I began transition, my Mom called me by the pronouns “she” and “her.”
My eyes welled with tears on the drive home — about 24 hours after first hearing her use the word “she” used to describe me — far from my Mom’s view. It was meaningful to me in part because this development was so unexpected, and in part because in means on some level she’s begining to accept me as a daughter, and not as a wayward son.
I teared up out of Mom’s view (vice while she was watching me) because I didn’t want this development to become such a big deal to Mom that she’d consciencely stop using feminine pronouns.
But, it is a big deal. I didn’t expect it, but I’m so very glad this change in pronouns happened. Words matter.
Posted in News of no consequence, Uncategorized, transgender |
August 20th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
IT is a big deal and I know how you feel. My Mom has been very supportive and never for a second thought of being anything but understanding, but it still wasn’t easy. As happy as she was for me, it was so hard for her to see Greg slowly disappear. I know she still mourns, so do I sometimes, but she does love her new daughter and the first time I heard her call me Kelly and her and she, I just cried.
You should revel in that moment and I’m very happy for you. We all crave that love and support from our families and it always makes me happy when I hear things like this.
August 21st, 2007 at 12:46 am
my mom called me “nexy” for the first time 4 years after i transitioned. it was a milestone for me. yeah, it matters. she still slips up, but i know she’s trying. and that matters too.
November 24th, 2007 at 9:24 am
[...] general spin in the blogosphere since the New York Times article has been published echoes the sentiments expressed in the Times [...]